Saying Goodbye

(sorry if this seems disjointed...I have written it over 3 days while
in the car.)

To preface this entry, I feel like I need to say that I am very happy
that we are moving. I am excited for this adventure. I am excited to
journey, and explore new places. I am excited to live somewhere else
again, as I believe that everyone should get out of their hometowns at
some point, and experience a culture different than what is familiar.
Especially a culture that is radically different. You learn a ton
about yourself, and your beliefs, and everyone needs to experience
that on a more long-term basis (yes, missions trips are good for that,
but you don't immerse as much...but that is another day).

Let me also preface it by saying that my experience with this was very
different than Nick's, and perhaps he can write something about this
later from his perspective..though don't hold your breath for that.

But saying goodbye sucks (for lack of a better word). I think maybe
if I was a loner, or if I didn't have the job that I did, or if I
didn't have a big family, then maybe it would have been easier. But
God has blessed my life with some pretty amazing people, and to say
that leaving those people was something I was excited about, or
looking forward to, would be a complete falsity.

We had a goodbye party. People thought it was kind of stupid that I
was planning my own goodbye party, but party planning is something
that I love, and I hadn't gotten to do it for a while, so I figured
why not. It was such a fun day. We got to see a bunch of people that
we hadn't gotten to see in a while, and say goodbye to them. It was
weird, I will admit.

It is really difficult to describe what it is like to say goodbye to
people. The technology age we are living in enables us to be able to
stay in contact with people much better than in the past, so in
essence, a lot of people I will still have almost daily updates from.
But the seeing part of the goodbye is something that technology cannot
affect...until the invention of teleportation, which I am still
anxiously awaiting, by the way. To be able to see people, to be able
to watch the changes in their life, not through pictures or emails,
but through daily interaction,those are the things I will miss.

I know there are many that have to endure this separation on a daily
basis, and so I do not presume to be an expert on what this is like in
the long term. I am not leaving behind a husband, or a child, like so
many of our servicemen and women have to do. I think of my dear
friend Linda, who lives a country away from her son and granddaughter,
and I understand that I am very blessed to be in the position that I
am in. I only speak to my own situation here.

I do not like the phone. Perhaps this stems from so much of my moms
time being spent on it, or because of the strange disconnect I feel
from not being able to read people's expressions (I think I am much
too visual for it). I would much rather not tal at all than talk on
the phone.

The goodbyes to my students might have been the hardest to take. It
wasn't necessarily because they are the people I would miss the most;
it was more because I had to watch each of them go through the goodbye
process, and believe me, THAT was not fun. I have said since the
beginning of the year that this was my favorite group of students I
have taught. I am not sure if it is because of the age, or the
school, or the combination of the students themselves, but I found
this group to be so interesting. Their diverse personalities and
interesting discussions kept me entertained and energized all year. I
often take students out sometime during the school year. Movies,
bowling, barbecues...these things have helped define who I am as a
teacher for a long time. Usually after doing one of these trips, I am
left exhausted, swearing that I will not do it ever again! But this
year, after the first outing (to a corn maze), I was left so
encouraged, not only by the students and their attitudes, but also by
the parents, I didn't come away wanting to be done with them, but
wanting to see them more! This led to a rockstar party at my house,
as well as sledding, movies, skyline chili, my marathon (yes, I had
some kids come down to cheer me on!) basketball and soccer games, and
swimming. Not to mention how they rallied behind me after my mom's
death, both students and parents. This all led to a very special
relationship between me and my kids this year, and life-long
relationships formed with a few families.

So, I was...dreading...saying goodbye to my kids, to say the least. I
was really looking forward to seeing them grow up, and turn into young
men and women. And now I would have to do it from a distance.

The kids took it hard, too. This blog is a way for me to keep a
record of things so that I have them for my own future (and maybe my
own kids will enjoy reading the thoughts of their crazy mom one day).
These are some of the notes I got in the last few weeks, both from
parents and from students. I want to keep them for myself as a way
of remembering that this one year, I really did something well.
Maybe not the best, but I took what I had, and in the midst of a
hellish year, I did something really good for these kids. I hope
people don't see these as me tooting my own horn. They just really
inspired me at different points during this year:

"We thank you for being an amazing teacher and friend. I keep
reminding my children when they are sad you are leaving that we were
blessed to have been able to spend so much time with you. There are
so many students and families who did not get that opportunity. I
remind them to focus on how much fun we had with you and realize how
fortunate we are to know you outside of being a teacher. I have told
them they most likely will never experience this special relationship
again! You are one of a kind and I thank you for allowing us into
your life."

"you have made quite an impact on my little one."

"we are going to miss you! Thank you for being an amazing person for
me and my children."

"it is amazing how people come into your life and leave an impression
forever. That is who you are. Thank you."

"So WW (Wonder Woman), I don't know what to say to you other than you
touch people's lives like a magic fairy godmother. I hope some of us
can do that for you during this time.
You inspire me as a teacher. I do not have the wonderful attitude all
the time with the kids as you do. BUT, you make me look at myself and
want to be better for the kids, thank you for that."

There are a bunch of notes from my students that I have packed away,
and maybe I will bring those out at another time.

I will have to continue this another day.

Until the next...

Sent from my iPad